Daddy why?

So I was dropping off my daughters the other night and my youngest jumps up in my arms looks at me and then back at the house and her mom and says, "Daddy why did you and mommy get divorced?"  "Just because."  I said.  "No, I mean it, why did you and mommy get divorced?"  She asked me 4 times the last time I said, "I didn't really have a good answer for you, it just happened."  Then I told her it was time to go inside.  She gave me a big hug and kiss and ran inside.

I get it.  I ask that same question, but from a much different set of logic.  To her I was standing in the driveway of "our" house, there was mommy, and mommies and daddies are supposed to live together.  She didn't want me to go, but she knows because of the divorce I have to.  But why? 

What I wanted to say is "Ask your mom."  But that does no one any good.  Then I wanted to say, "It's complicated sweetie, but know that I wish we weren't divorced too...that our family wasn't cut in half too."  But she is 5, she's not asking a deep question, just being honest that she wants her normal back.  I do too dear, but we are going to have to find our new normal. 

I wish I could tell her everything will be fine and this new normal will have it's wonderful qualities too.  But I'm not sure about that.  She wants to have Daddy there or Mommy there at bedtime every night.  She wants to vacation with the whole family, she keeps asking me over and over if I am coming on vacation with them.  She misses me when she is with my ex and my ex when she is with me.  She knows that all is not as it is supposed to be.  The truth is little one that no matter how hard we wish for things in life that doesn't mean they will come true, in fact most things we have to wish for don't and won't ever come true.  I won't tell you that now, because I don't want you to have to grow up any faster than you already are. 

For now I don't have a good answer, but notice the look in my eye I echo your question.  And know above anything and everything that you are loved, so deeply and so completely.